I have excellent news! Well, I think its excellent…you might not find it all that interesting, but that is a risk I am willing to take! It turns out I am not a cold, heartless bitch! Hoorah! Let me explain…
It is common knowledge that I, Hayley Ann O’Hara, have never been in a big hurry to have children. “Hesitant” doesn’t even begin to cover it…there have been many moments after a bad experience at a restaurant or in a shopping mall in which I have proclaimed, “I will NOT have those things.” What people don’t know is how much my distaste for children really does bother me or how much my soon to be husband, Andrew, adores and wants children.
The last couple of months as the wedding drew near…I have found myself in a bit of a panic…asking myself and Andrew, “what if I never want to have children?” or “Would you still love me if we never had kids?” His response was always a positive one, but he has always been confident that one day my perspective on having children would change; I wasn’t, until now. Well, until this morning. After I woke up from the most wonderful and realistic dream I can ever remember having. In this dream Andrew and I were grilling in the back yard, it was our backyard, except that we had a fence and extremely beautiful landscaping…but that’s beside the point. In that backyard with us were two new additions to the family. One was a medium sized brown lab that I kept referring to as Penny Lane. Penny Lane is my favorite movie character of all time…so I’m not surprised. The dog was sweet, friendly and slobbery, but it was the little girl with bouncing blonde curls, big blue eyes, thick lashes and Andrew’s dimples that had me in awe. Lola Jane, that’s what we were calling her and I like it, was running around the backyard in a summer outfit that could have only been put together by moi and the dream version of her was completely stealing my heart. I spent my entire night dreaming that I was in that backyard with my husband, my daughter and our furry friend and I have never felt so MUCH love, peace and contentment. When I woke up I spent a good 2 hours with baby fever, even calling my mom to gush about the name, “Lola Jane Grade”. Of course a tantrum I witnessed at Panera snapped me right out of it…but I still feel a little warmth in my heart when I think of those eyes and those dimples.
Because I am me…and I had to ruin this whole experience I went to morphthing.com and took the time to morph a picture of Andrew and I to see what our baby would like…I realize this is something only crazy people do, but I am crazy, so its fine. Needless to say…the result was not what I envisioned in my dream…and instead it just freaked me out. Lucky, for you…I decided to share.