The Apple App Store is right up there next to Sephora and Andrew William Grade as a contender for the love of my life 😉

I can’t go a day without stopping by to check for updates or to see what new Apps are being featured for the week. It’s fun, it’s easy and  it truly does feel like shopping….but you can do it from your bed and you’re not likely to spend more than $4.99; Sephora and Andrew cost me WAY more than that! 😉

It is my belief that a truly well made and useful app can change your life. I’m not talking about Angry Birds time wasting kind of change your life, but a make your life easier, more productive, etc. kind of change your life. That is why…when I came across a cute little App called “Couple“…I was intrigued. It is (a little too) well known that I am one half of a couple so obviously I had to download it, it’s free!!

Essentially, the app allows you to “pair up” with your significant other and suddenly, the two of you have an entire private timeline dedicated to your love. Adorable right? It really is. In addition to the basic texting function….pictures, videos, sound recordings and sketches are built right into the app and easy to send. In addition to that you can “live sketch” a masterpiece together, simultaneously…which is so fricken adorable, I don’t care who you are! You can even send your exact location…which comes in handy when your significant other is as directionally challenged as yours truly. Calendar events, specific dates (anniversaries, birthdays, etc.) can all be shared. And if you’re ever feeling nostalgic all of your “moments” can be viewed in one easy to scroll through space.

Andrew and I have been “coupled” for four days and we love it! I just had to share some of the fun….

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Love being able to hit one button to send a quick “thinking of you…” And the location, just in case he forgets how to get to my work!

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Sending him goofy pictures because he just loves looking at my face so much 😉

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I mean what other app can you simultaneously profess your love via a poorly drawn sketch AND discuss important matters?? 🙂

2013-05-03 21.30.29It’s important to note that if you don’t upload a picture right away your default picture will show up as a cute furry animal. The kitten is cute, but Andrew is cuter 😉 His smiley face is kinda menacing, like it wants to kill me in my sleep….

Basically….the app is just fun and it makes the daily monotony of communicating just a little bit more exciting, different and unique. I really can’t wait to share a timeline for a year and be able to look back on all of our “moments”, especially those as a newly married couple!! 🙂 So, if you’re curious about it…give it a shot and definitely let me know if you like it!

I would like to point out that the title describes my current state of mind…perfectly. I would also like to point out that I am under the influence of several different medications…so, this might not make any sense; I will try to keep it short and sweet.

Yesterday afternoon, I went into the Lakeside Hospital Procedure center to undergo an upper endoscopy, dilation and biopsy. I was promised that this would be an in and out right back on your feet sort of procedure…unfortunately, in the case of most promises made…it was broken. I woke up from the anesthesia confused and in pain….more pain, in fact, than I had yet experienced in my 25 years of life. Andrew was left with a still slightly sleeping and drugged fiance to take home. After the sedative had completely worn off the pain and discomfort and all around ill-feeling only increased with every minute that passed. I was scared, he was scared and a call to the doctor proved to be even scarier as he proclaimed that none of this is typical and to seek medical attention asap.

And so, in the rain and wind we loaded back into the car again en route to Lakeside ER. Once there, I received my second IV of the day and underwent a multitude of tests that assured us all that I was in no immediate medical danger. Unfortunately, the pain raged on. And so, they gave me a cocktail of medications that left me numb, buzzing and in significantly less pain…success! My body was humming peacefully with morphine trickling throughout my blood stream and I was ready for bed. I crawled out of the hospital bed (not as comfortable as the first) and clumsily navigated my way out of the hospital gown (much better than the first) and while I was pulling my sweatshirt on I caught Andrew’s eye as he sat patiently in the corner holding my things. And I had no choice but to pause, he was looking at me with so much…. love and adoration that the sheer force of it (not to mention my already unsteady disposition) made me sit/fall back onto the bed. I was makeupless, pale, tear stained and marked up. My eyes were red rimmed, my lips were chapped and my overall outlook on life was not a positive one. He was there…in the same hospital….for the second time that day, watching the Kardashians on the TV….for the second time that day, waiting so he could gather me up and take me home. And there was not an ounce of impatience in those brown eyes, not even a smidge of irritability or distaste at my obviously rough appearance. The way he looked at me made me so much warmer and so much calmer than any sort of drug they could have shoved in my IV. As I recovered from my emotional moment and finished putting on sweats I couldn’t help but consider the  large number of things I could survive with him by my side.

I wish I could say…and then I went to bed and I woke up this morning feeling brand new! But I can’t, the cocktail of medications in combination with an empty stomach sent me to the ground in Walgreens shortly after we left the ER, I spent the remainder of the night trying not to swallow or really move for that matter in an attempt to get some rest and I spent the majority of this day hugging the toilet and praying for relief. But, through it all, I had Andrew’s cool hands on my shoulders, quick kisses on the forehead, quick errands to gather my prescriptions and reassuring hugs despite my complete lack for personal hygiene.

And now, as I finally turn a corner and have faith that I will in fact survive this…. 😉 I find myself with a couple of repetitive thoughts….I can only hope that he has found that type of solace and comfort behind my eyes when he needed it. And also, get ready for the immense amount of corny….but I couldn’t help consider the people in my life-friends, family, etc.-I pray that they have been or one day will be looked at that same way.

Goodnight <3

The last few years of my life have been spent clumsily reaching for perfection. The perfect relationship, the perfect house, perfect date nights, perfect look, nails & body, the perfect job, friendships, parents, blog posts, status updates….I could go on for hours.  I’m not sure at what point I settled on expectations that were impossible to meet but those expectations have been trying their very best to drown me. Unfortunately, an engagement popped up right in the middle of my quarter life quest for perfection and only made unhealthy behavior that much more unhealthy.

The minute Andrew slid this ring on my finger I have been warily aware of the monster coming alive inside of me. I am going to be absolutely honest here, at my own expense…I’m picky, sensitive, controlling and equal amounts of vain and insecure. I care entirely too much about what people think and I place too much value on material things. Can you picture it yet? A young lady with all of these qualities trying to put together her wedding day? It’s not pretty. Unfortunately, the bridezilla within is becoming a bit more difficult to keep tame as I get closer to the wedding date. The stress is building and I am trading in my cool composure for wild eyed, messy haired ranting; ranting, which, Andrew has been on the receiving end of one too many times as of late. It’s exhausting being this big of a bitch, I really don’t know how some of you women do it on the regular, because, honestly, I need a nap!

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I was driving home from a very long day at work with a vortex of thoughts, to-do’s and anxieties swirling around in my head when I was halted by the realization that….this isn’t fun anymore. None of it is.

I literally got home, bawled for an hour and with teary eyes and mascara stained cheeks decided that I couldn’t afford to waste one more second trying to achieve the unachievable.

And so, 53 days away from my wedding date I have decided to begin my quest to…end my quest for perfection. 🙂

Of course that leaves room for so much……non-perfection in my life and in my wedding, but I’m bracing myself for it. The absolute truth is…that my life is as amazing as any one person would hope their life could be, and if I loosened the reigns a little or even handed them over completely every once in a while I think I could actually manage to relax…and enjoy it!!

So, Andrew William Grade, mom, wedding party….and any others who have fallen victim to my perfection fits, bridezilla breakdowns and all around flaws in my character…I want you all to know I’m working on it….or not working on it? Well, you get the idea!

Wish me luck. I’m gonna need it.

I had high hopes for this blog…I was certain that it would detail the hilarity, insanity and anxiety involved in putting all of your resources, time and effort into creating the perfect wedding day.

And yet, here I am…67 days from the big day and I have only a few sporadic posts to show for our 17 months of engagement. Despite my expectations…life did not come to a halt so that Andrew and I could carefully and patiently detail our entire day. As a matter of fact, life sped up..like whoa. Andrew had school on top of his full time job and his part time job…which is me. Meanwhile my job, my high maintenance family, my obsession with Pinterest and my intense love for sleep left me very little time to plan let alone write about planning.

Our engagement has been….so very interesting. I hate that there is not a more appropriate term in the English language to really describe the emotion, memories and humor behind the engagement thus far. But there isn’t, I checked. We’ve learned a lot, encountered disagreements and challenges we never expected, yelled, screamed, slammed doors (well I did) and loved each other even more with every day. I’m disappointed that it wasn’t all detailed here, not because I am convinced other people will want to read it but because it would have been such an incredible way to capture those memories.

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The good news is…I’ve carved out plenty of time right now to do what I do best…create a list 🙂

The Top 5  (Worst, Best and Everything in Between) Engaged Moments:

1. Financial Fights. Here’s the thing about getting engaged…it is a little bit like a practice run for being married. I mean, what is the difference between marriage and a really long relationship? Paperwork and a lot of hassle if you decide you can’t stand another minute together. While an engagement is much less permanent than a marriage there is still some added hassle to end things…I mean, who wants to cancel a catering order for 200?? So what does all of this have to do with financial fights? I’m getting there, chill out. Once Andrew and I got engaged we began to look at each other a bit differently, suddenly the starry eyes are replaced with critical eyes. Eyes that are assessing exactly what obstacles will stand in the way of marital bliss. For example…his freight train snoring. It didn’t take long for us both to land on our drastically different spending habits. I mean life is too  damn short not to buy that Coach purse for me and that Lacoste button up for him and what good is buying fabulous clothes, accessories and beauty products if you’re not going to go out and show it off. Obviously, Andrew has a different view on the whole thing, like…. maybe we should make sure we pay our mortgage first. Party pooper. And so…we fought about things we did, wanted to or shouldn’t have bought. We fought about money made and money saved and every time we discuss sitting down and hammering out a budget we both find something else more important that we MUST do!

2. Road Warriors. There was a span of 3 weeks this past summer that Andrew and I spent ricocheting across the mid-west. Road trips with the one you love are a blast…for the first 28 minutes. After that…the realization that you are stuck in a vehicle with limited choices of music, limited topics of discussion and all of each other’s bodily gases for an extended period of time starts to sink in. Andrew and I’s marathon vacation began with a trip to my parents’ lake home…we left late one evening and stopped halfway in Blue Springs, MO. We stayed in a MOtel (not to be confused with a HOtel) at which I am certain several murders took place. The bed forced our togetherness as it’s middle was firmly and permanently suck in….after 3 hours in the car together we really got to snuggle. Next up, was Iowa City for a friends wedding; while I was blessed with a HOtel on this visit I was tormented by Andrew’s inability to fall asleep without turning into a freight train. The result? I spent two nights sleeping in a bath tub, the only place I could escape the rumbling of his nostrils. Finally, we set out for Andrew’s home town of Pueblo, Colorado to visit his family. We were only about 15 minutes into our journey on I-80 West when I became absolutely certain that I could not spend another minute in the car. The music was old, the conversation was repetitive and Andrew’s farts were becoming intolerable. We encountered another less than legit MOtel on our journey west and I am fairly certain I set a new record for pee stops, but we made it. By the time the whirlwind was over and we were back home and living out our routines I found myself missing Andrew’s constant presence; I missed the mindless chatter, the made-up and desperate road trip games and most of all the feeling of sharing our days so entirely together. That trip alone contains some of my most favorite memories of the man I will soon call my husband. 🙂

3. Damn Drama. 2012 was a strange year for my family. A lot of heavy things happened and a lot of things changed rapidly. I was raised in a family in which we were always involved and exceptionally aware of what was happening to each of us at any moment in time. I think there were many times this year in which Andrew fell to the background as I participated in the family whirlpool, and again, he suffered when my mood or actions were affected by  things happening within my family. The most wonderful thing about it all? He. Never. Wavered. He never complained, pouted, moped or even hinted that he felt cheated or insignificant. When I cried, he held me. When I yelled, he listened. When I couldn’t pull myself out of a mood, he found a way. I believe that now, on the other end of a very long family struggle, I can say with certainty that Andrew and I are prepared and adept at enduring. He radiates strength and compassion and even as a try to finish this sentence I am overwhelmed (in the very best way possible) with the idea that I get to spend the rest of my life with someone like him. Ohhh that was so cheesy. But true 🙂

4. Holiday Hell. I spent Christmas day of 2012 vomiting profusely and alone. Andrew was in Colorado and my parents were hosting a few family members at their house. I was so ill that the very thought of getting into my car and driving the 30 minutes to my parents house made me have to throw up again. So, I spent the day unshowered, pajama clad and positively miserable. But as the sun set on that wicked day and I used prescription strength anti-nausea pills to drift off to sleep I found myself smiling….because Christmas 2012 marked Andrew and I’s last Christmas spent  apart!! Due to the distance in which his family lives from us he has spent every Christmas traveling to see them while I couldn’t stand the idea of leaving my own. But…after saying “I DO” the every other year compromise becomes effective and we will be making those trips together. Which means….Christmas 2013 will be our very first Christmas married AND together.

5. Perfect & Poignant. I have an unnatural obsession with moments…more specifically, the way in which a moment would play out in words. Every day I find myself searching for those poignant snapshots in time, that perfect interaction that would flow so effortlessly into words and punctuation on a page; if I can’t find them then I am trying to create them and when I can’t create them….it hurts. It is definitely a character flaw and unfortunately it leads to a lot of discontentment and restlessness. But, when I find one of those moments…its incredible. Lucky for me, one happened with Andrew just recently…on Wednesday of last week, while I was rushing out of the house to get to a doctor’s appointment I managed to slice not one but two fingers on a rusty old razor blade. Lots of blood, lots of pain and a tetanus shot later and I was left with two very tender and useless fingers. Unfortunately, the last time I had showered was Tuesday morning. By Thursday night I had enough dry shampoo in my hair to cause a dust storm and that itchy unclean feeling had really sunk in, but the idea of allowing water, let alone shampoo, to enter my wounds was more than I could stand. So, I asked Andrew to give me a bath and he did. He washed my hair carefully and meticulously and he washed my body…everyone can take a deep breath because this is not a “sexual” story, I promise I’m not going there….the most wonderful part of this whole experience was that while it was loving and tender it was not sensual or sexual. Once I was clean (thank the heavens!!) he helped me into my pajamas, replaced my bandages, combed my hair and tucked me into bed. I fell asleep warm and clean and relishing in the love that radiated from those 30 minutes spent together….its the kind of memory that will get us through some very dark days.

About one year ago, I was perusing Pinterest (what a surprise!) and I discovered the magic of the Love Is… comics written by Kim Casali and drawn by Bill Asprey. I had spotted them periodically over the years posted in the paper but I had never had access to so many at one time! If you’re not familiar with them then your life must be void of all meaning…I’m kidding, but really….you’re in for a treat. 6 days a week (they take Sundays off) these comics are posted on a website called GoComics; the premise of these comics is a short and endearing way to describe what constitutes “love” paired with an illustration that makes the whole thing extra adorable. Usually a man and women…sometimes children too…oh, and they’re always naked, which is strange when I see it written out like that. But look at me, I am so far from the point.

When I discovered these comics were accessible virtually I began emailing Andrew one for every day of the week. I try to stick with ones that are applicable to our relationship. I found it a quick but meaningful way to let him know that he’s on my mind and a nice reminder that I love him, despite any bickering, or lack of sleep or a budget busting shopping trip I had taken the day before… 🙂

Since it has been a year since I began sending these (almost) every day! I thought I would share some of my favorites.

Love is…

My Andrew...

yes...!

awwww!

win-win

Reminds me of the lake home :-)

All the time...

That's me! :-)

Not...so...much.

Love Is...

The truth is…this started out as something I did for Andrew, but it became a nice reminder for both of us of how lucky we are to be in love with each other, to have another person who cherishes, cares, worries for and adores us. Which is why, even smack dab in the middle of a huge fight, I don’t hesitate to send him a quick reminder of all of the wonderful things we get to share and all of the amazing things we have to look forward to….

someday... :)

Merry Christmas~ 😉

If you know me personally, it won’t come as a surprise when I admit that I am…a bit of a handful. Okay, that’s a lie…I promised honesty…so, let me rephrase that. Living with me and loving me probably feels much like embracing a hurricane 24 hours a day, 7 days a week; deadly winds, torrential downpours and lots of objects flying through the air. There, I said it. I’m a little bit nuts.

Loving Andrew, on the other hand, is much like embracing a seventy degree day with light winds and a balanced amount of sun and clouds. People skip work to enjoy weather like Andrew’s…meanwhile, I’m busy flooding the coast.

I’ve struggled with our drastically different weather patterns for a while now. To be fair, my life is a bit off keel; lots of stress, a few health issues and a job filled with people that leave me constantly on edge, but still, I’m left wondering how is someone as mild as Andrew supposed to love someone as tumultuous as me for the rest of our lives? As a matter of fact, I have spent the last year fighting an internal battle of whether or not I really deserve someone as good and loving as Andrew. There have been moments after I said or did something particularly ridiculous in which I have looked at Andrew and asked him quite seriously, “are you sure about this? Are you sure you want me for forever?” Most men would have gotten the hell out of there…many more would have at least considered it, but Andrew doesn’t even hesitate when he says, “I’m sure.”

It wasn’t until I was driving home this evening…ridiculously depressed because I had just dropped Andrew at the airport for his week-long trip to Colorado…that I realized that he could not have found another woman on this planet capable of loving him more than I do. It is my immense capability for feeling that allows me to love him the way that I do; I am a storm, sometimes a destructive one, but he sees all of the beautiful parts, the moments that make a storm so beautiful and fascinating. My intensity and passion for life and for him are not a contrast to his quite calm but instead a wonderful balance. I encourage, okay maybe force (because that’s what hurricanes do) him to participate in his life, to feel things both good and bad and he reminds me on a daily basis to take a deep breath and remember that nothing is as bad as it seems.

Most of all, I realized that I deserve him because I love him. Nothing I have ever said or done could convince him otherwise and that’s all that really matters.

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I have excellent news! Well, I think its excellent…you might not find it all that interesting, but that is a risk I am willing to take! It turns out I am not a cold, heartless bitch! Hoorah! Let me explain…

It is common knowledge that I, Hayley Ann O’Hara, have never been in a big hurry to have children. “Hesitant” doesn’t even begin to cover it…there have been many moments after a bad experience at a restaurant or in a shopping mall in which I have proclaimed, “I will NOT have those things.” What people don’t know is how much my distaste for children really does bother me or how much my soon to be husband, Andrew, adores and wants children.

The last couple of months as the wedding drew near…I have found myself in a bit of a panic…asking myself and Andrew, “what if I never want to have children?” or “Would you still love me if we never had kids?” His response was always a positive one, but he has always been confident that one day my perspective on having children would change; I wasn’t, until now. Well, until this morning. After I woke up from the most wonderful and realistic dream I can ever remember having. In this dream Andrew and I were grilling in the back yard, it was our backyard, except that we had a fence and extremely beautiful landscaping…but that’s beside the point. In that backyard with us were two new additions to the family. One was a medium sized brown lab that I kept referring to as Penny Lane. Penny Lane is my favorite movie character of all time…so I’m not surprised. The dog was sweet, friendly and slobbery, but it was the little girl with bouncing blonde curls, big blue eyes, thick lashes and Andrew’s dimples that had me in awe. Lola Jane, that’s what we were calling her and I like it, was running around the backyard in a summer outfit that could have only been put together by moi and the dream version of her was completely stealing my heart. I spent my entire night dreaming that I was in that backyard with my husband, my daughter and our furry friend and I have never felt so MUCH love, peace and contentment. When I woke up I spent a good 2 hours with baby fever, even calling my mom to gush about the name, “Lola Jane Grade”. Of course a tantrum I witnessed at Panera snapped me right out of it…but I still feel a little warmth in my heart when I think of those eyes and those dimples.

Because I am me…and I had to ruin this whole experience I went to morphthing.com and took the time to morph a picture of Andrew and I to see what our baby would like…I realize this is something only crazy people do, but I am crazy, so its fine. Needless to say…the result was not what I envisioned in my dream…and instead it just freaked me out. Lucky, for you…I decided to share.

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For some reason…out of all the tasks I have had to tackle in regard to Andrew and I’s wedding the Engagement pictures seemed especially daunting. I know everyone says…a picture is worth a thousand words and while I would normally smack anyone who even uttered that cliche in my presence I tend to believe that in the engagement picture world…that cliche could not be more accurate.

An engagement session is meant to capture a love story, an aspect of that couple that most don’t regularly get to see. You are supposed to look at those pictures and feel absolutely certain that both halves of that union have found “the one”. Seems like it should be simple, mindless and natural and maybe it is….for some.

You see, most couples fall in love like this:

engagement Engagement pictures

And this

Engagement Session Seattle Library #engagement  #engagement

And sometimes like this:

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Andrew and I’s love story isn’t quite so charming and neither are our photogenic qualities, because our love story looks a lot like this:

And this:

…..

Always this…

A lot of this

So much of this

And not enough of this

While our relationship has so many strong points are portraits are not one of them.

Needless to say, I’m concerned. I knew that posing Andrew and I in a meadow with a picnic basket wasn’t going to cut it. The pictures would come out awkward, strained and unattractive. I needed to find a way to represent our relationship in the most natural and relaxed way possible.

So, about 2 months ago I began my research. Andrew and I don’t go on romantic picnics (though we should) we don’t wander around downtown Omaha (unless we are intoxicated) and we don’t peruse old used book stores (Andrew doesn’t even read). I felt like forcing a picture of Andrew and I standing next to an old barn while staring wistfully into each others eyes would just not result in a decent photograph.

I think I’ve made myself clear.

Lucky for us…I think I’ve come up with a solution. Unlucky for you…I’m not telling you what that solution is until the pictures are done and then I will share here 😉

Andrew and I rarely fight. Sure, we bicker, disagree, annoy, nag (well, i do) and some days I am pretty sure he wants to return me right back where he found me. Luckily, most of our disagreements last less than 10 minutes…but when we do decide to fight, we really fight.

Andrew and I’s fighting styles are outrageously different.

I have a large arsenal of vocabulary words at my disposal and I tend to pull out the sharpest I can find. I string together arguments and rants so impeccably delivered that Andrew usually stands there with a slightly stunned expression on his face. Partly because I just made my side of the argument sound like the “right side” but mostly because what I just said was really, really mean. These rants are usually followed by some dramatic exit from the room including stair stomping and door slamming before I collapse on the bed in exaggerated tears.

Andrew’s approach is much different. He is the most even keeled, patient person on this planet. When things begin to escalate he likes to remove himself from the situation and he becomes very, very quiet. There is no discussing the problem, there is no expressing emotion; its like watching television try to find its cable signal. This approach…absolutely infuriates me. Fury really isn’t a strong enough word. While he goes to another room to watch TV I am still sobbing on the bed; pissed and feeling guilty about what I have already said.

So I do what any other reasonably sane young woman would do…I barge into whatever room he has taken his retreat and begin another rant. It isn’t until I have him yelling back (when he yells I know I have really really pissed him off) that I am satisfied. This satisfaction is usually short-lived because I am irrationally outraged that he would even consider raising his voice at me. Repeat dramatic exit.

Are you exhausted yet?

…at this point the post-tears headache has set in, my eye make-up is nestling comfortably on my pillow and I have officially lost all of my fight; this is usually the moment in which Andrew opens the bedroom door slowly…comes to the bed and kisses my forehead. Sometimes he says sorry first, but most of the time I do. We play the “next time game”, i.e. “I think we could avoid this fight if next time you just did this…” And then we forgive each other and eat something (fighting makes me hungry!!)

I know what you are all thinking…”how dysfunctional.” Some of you are probably wondering if I have ever heard the quote “forgiven but not forgotten” and thinking I should keep my sharp tongue under control. You’re probably right. But are any couple’s fights functional? No, they’re not. That’s why its called a fight.

When Andrew and I finish a fight of this magnitude (just to be clear this might happen twice in an entire year) we feel embarrassed & exhausted…but mostly relieved. A good fight once in a while is much like undergoing a rapid juice cleanse. It is painful, uncomfortable and leaves you with several awful memories…but at the end, once you’ve put your digestive system back together…you have to admit, you feel refreshed!

In approximately 48 hours I will be boarding a plane with my friends en route to San Diego! Exciting right? RIGHT! What some people have found strange is that Andrew, my fiance, will not be one of those friends on that plane or on that trip. “You’re going on vacation without your fiance?” I’ve been asked by several people, usually with a slightly judgmental look on their face. “Yep.” I respond while I enjoy the awkwardness as they wait for some sort of explanation… he has to work (which he does) we couldn’t afford it if we both went (we couldn’t)…but they’re not getting an explanation because I don’t believe one is warranted.

I suppose Andrew and I have become a “we”.  We do most things together. We  pay our  bills. We begin most sentences with we. But while Andrew and I exist as a “we”. I think we both have a definite “me”. Which is important.

In our world an engagement or even a marriage does not mean one does not do anything without the other. Instead, it just requires that one does not do anything without thinking of the other. There are many times you will find me out with my friends without Andrew on my arm; either because he had to work or because he didn’t feel up to a night out. And there are plenty of times you will find Andrew playing softball with friends and having beers without me because that is his thing, his “me time”.

When it came time to decide on the trip I took Andrew into consideration. Will Andrew be bummed he isn’t going with? You bet. Will he miss me? Definitely. I’ll miss him too! It goes without saying that I discussed the trip with Andrew before it was planned, but I didn’t ask for his permission. He didn’t expect me to ask for his permission. Instead, I acknowledged his response and based my decision on that. Lucky for me I am marrying one of the most wonderful people on the planet, so of course he thought it was a great idea that I go to see one of my oldest friends, even if it was without him.

That is a relationship, an engagement & a soon to be marriage. And I like it.