I wish I had a reality show (doesn’t everyone?).
My life is pretty much an epic mixture of blunders, mistakes and horrible decisions…mixed with good intentions and lots of good luck that somehow all comes together to make a pretty spectacular existence. I feel like that could be fun to watch, I mean, my husband finds me incredibly entertaining.
I say this because…my blog mentor recently suggest I write a quick post with some “Beauty Do’s & Don’ts”, my response? I giggled. Suddenly every bad beauty related decision I have ever made (there are a lot) was front and center in this busy head of mine.
Because every “do” I might have learned as stemmed from the result of an epic “don’t”…I thought maybe I should just start there.
::5 Beauty Don’ts…Seriously, Don’t::
1. Don’t make a drastic hair change without a lot of research, let me reiterate several weeks of research. I do not care how confident you might be, how well you think you can pull of anything or how little you care what others think. I don’t care if you just got dumped, divorced, moved to a new city….blah, blah, blah. Don’t.
This is your hair, its on top of your head. Why are you messing with that shit?
When I was 22-years-old, I was dealing with some weight gain, an imminent break-up and an all around lonely life. And then I saw a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow’s long bob cut and I decided I had to have it. I was sure this bob (a bit longer in the front than in the back) was the key to my happiness.
Spoiler alert:: I didn’t suddenly look like Gwyneth Paltrow and I definitely didn’t feel any better about my miserable life.
I didn’t do a lick of research, I didn’t pause to contemplate exactly how my face (after a 30 lb weight gain) would carry a cut such as this and I certainly didn’t consider the fact that I wouldn’t even be able to pull my hair into a decent pony while I sobbed about my horrible hair cutting decision.
Oh, and it cost me a ridiculous amount of money.
2. Don’t skip the instructions. I know, we are all adults and we feel like we have a general idea of how most products work…like who is going to stop and check the label on a tube of toothpaste? Me. I do. After my experience I’ve started reading the label on a bottle of water.
I know I have previously expressed my love for face masks. I buy them on the regular and I get downright giddy to try a new one.
I brought home a new one from Ulta one night and considering myself a “face mask expert” I slathered it on, jamming to music and acting half of my age.
Feeling extra confident and adorable I even took a selfie to send my to my Andrew.
Moments after hitting send I grabbed the tube wondering if this was a 15 minute mask (most range from 15-20 minutes) and discovered the following::
Warning: Keep away from my eyes, eye lashes and eye brows! Hair removal likely.
Did I mention this was a mere two weeks before my wedding?? I think you can see from the photo that my eye brows were good and slathered…
Luckily, my eyebrows were spared.
3. Don’t forget to check the mirror. A full-length one, with plenty of light, preferably sunlight. Full length mirrors give you the whole story people and you really shouldn’t be leaving the house without the full story.
I was once banished to my office for a day of work because my nude dress was putting my not so nude undies on display for the world. They weren’t even cute. It was a disaster.
And you don’t get a picture of that one.
4. Don’t get handsy with the Moroccan Oil. I mean, they did leave “oil” in the name…you would think that would be my sign.
When I first discovered Pinterest, this stuff was all the rage…and so, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the stuff. The first morning I used it I couldn’t wait to have shiny, smooth and lustrous hair.
You guys, I looked like a 7th grader after P.E.
It was bad and literally not fixable without jumping in the shower and starting all over again.
5. Don’t pick. Don’t even touch it. You know what I’m talking about…that blemish that has suddenly appeared just to the left your mouth. No one else can see it…but you can feel it and you are positive that you can pick the damn thing away.
But, when you get done picking manically it will be 3 times larger and last 3 days longer. So, just don’t.
My motto….when in it comes to beauty:: when in doubt, don’t. And if you do, make sure you have the time, resources or confidence to pull of a major blunder! 😉