I woke up feeling very pregnant and very hungover this morning. I know those two together don’t make sense…but for some reason my entire second trimester has felt like one long, horrible hangover! Pounding headaches, intermittent nausea, weakness & fatigue – so far, my vitals and baby’s vitals are good so doctor says stay hydrated & well rested…and well, deal with it. 🙂 If anyone has any suggestions…I am all ears!
After a work incident yesterday afternoon I was reminded of this funny little YouTube gem I came across years ago…and I thought I would share in case any of my followers might be having one of those days. I’ve included it below (please note: explicit language…turn down the volume if you’re at work or around your kids!)
Also, on the agenda this weekend (aside from lots & lots of chores around the house) is putting together my first “local love” post. I want to start posting these at least once a month – “local love” is basically a highlight of a local Omaha business that I absolutely love! This weekend’s is in my top 5 favorites (hint: it has to do with coffee!) So stay tuned for that post next week. And have an amazing weekend!!
Today marks exactly 22 weeks and 5 days of my pregnancy journey…a journey that has been both magical & …difficult. When I received the news that a baby was on the way I spent hours trying to find a relatable pregnancy journey; but it seemed I could only find those who had an absolutely amazing pregnancy (or at least said they did) or those who had to muster the strength to endure some truly tragic and tough obstacles on their journey to baby. Obviously, I was left unsatisfied with the drastically different and unrelatable results. Then & there, I vowed to be honest when anyone asked me how I was feeling or how the pregnancy was going and everyone loves a list. So, halfway-ish through my pregnancy, here are some thoughts.
The cravings are a real thing. I always thought that “cravings” were an excuse for women to finally be able to eat the treats and snacks she has always wanted to but couldn’t because she was too busy maintaining her waistline. And yes, there might be a bit of that going on, but the truth is the cravings are happening. I have literally craved things I haven’t eaten since grade school, I caught myself in Hy-Vee staring longlingly at the Hostess display and I even have an “emergency box” of snacks & goodies hidden in my office in case of unexpected cravings…this isn’t me, I don’t even know who I am anymore.
It has made me a better person. There is something about growing a human being that humbles you (I can’t imagine what it will feel like when I’m holding and caring for that same little being!) and gives you pause. I have a sort of love, grace & patience (as long as my hormones are behaving) that I have never experienced before.
I couldn’t do this alone. Without the obvious assist from Travis this journey would be a heck of a lot harder without him. While I’m doing the majority of the physical work by myself, for now, it doesn’t feel that way. Travis has been there in every way possible and without his comic relief and his ability to quiet every single fear that pops into my head I would be having a much harder time enjoying this journey. His late night malt making skills don’t hurt either. 🙂
Sciatica Nerve Pain.Ouch. I’ve complained enough about this across all social media platforms, so I’ll leave this one alone. But, ouch.
Everyone loves a pregnant lady. I always thought PP (pre-pregnancy) this was a myth…it’s not. Obviously friends & family are over the moon for me and so accommodating but even the strangers I’ve encountered over my 5 months of pregnancy have been so incredibly happy for me – it’s extremely touching and an amazing reminder that humans are inherently kind no matter what the world is trying to tell us right now.
All I do is pee. PP I was already an extremely active…pee-er? I blame a small bladder and above average consumption of water but since pregnancy it is all. the. time. One trip to Target results in 4-5 bathroom visits. I’m just relieved the bump is out now so people stop looking at me with concern.
My dreams are starting to scare me. I’ve always had vivid and often scary dreams…storylines so complex I would wake up with them on a loop in my head throughout the day; that being said, nothing….nothing compares to pregnancy dreams. What is even happening? Last night I was on the heels of a serial killer rampage and it was intense….and frightening.
Itchy belly. It itches all day and all night no matter what I lather on it or how high I have the humidifier set for. I’m told there’s nothing I can really do….skin itches when it stretches….:)
Pregnancy is a lot of “I can’ts”: “I can’t eat that.” “I can’t drink that.” “I can’t do that.” I have my moments where I start feeling sorry for myself and then one glance at an ultrasound photo on the fridge or a nudge in my tummy from her movement reminds me that it is all worth it.
Did I mention the sciatic nerve pain? I just really wanted to make sure that made it in here. 😉
I miss sleeping on my back. That list of “can’ts” I mentioned above includes laying flat on your back after you’ve finished the first trimester – something to do with reduced blood flow to the fetus…I try not to read too much about why I can’t do something in the interest of not sending my already anxious mind into a tizzy. I have the most comfortable pregnancy pillow and I can get pretty cozy curled up on my side but I really miss snoozing on my back. Plus, there is nothing worse than waking up on your back in a panic wondering how long you let yourself lay like that. 🙁
Hormone rollercoaster. For a girl who already had all of the feelings all of the time pp….this has been a bit overwhelming. Suddenly, dropping your makeup brush when you’re in a hurry or catching the grumpy look of a stranger in the store can have me on the edge of tears. It’s a lot. Which is why I’ll refer back to number 3…make sure you surround yourself with a partner who will have grace and patience for your emotional outbursts or tears that suddenly start spilling from your face for no discernible reason.
I talk to my belly like it’s going to talk back. It hasn’t yet. Once I felt baby girl noticeably thumping around in my stomach its become difficult not to include her in my day-to-day. So, I have found myself saying “should we go eat lunch now?” or “let’s get some sleep, yea?” It’s weird, but I’ve also had in depth conversations with my dog so this is probably weirder for other people than it is for me.
I hear “how are you feeling?” a lot. This references #5 a bit. I have never had anyone ask me how I am feeling this much in my life. And I always feel guilty providing a truthful answer which right now is….not great. I’ve found that people like to hear you’re feeling good because they genuinely care and because when you say the dreaded “I could be better” there is really nothing they can say to you to make it better.
It’s best to just avoid Google. My rule of thumb with Google: when I am unfamiliar with terminology used I do a quick search and only read the very top result which briefly describes said term…delving any farther is dangerous territory.
I listen to other’s pregnancy journeys (good & bad) as a source of camaraderie and entertainment not as a forecast for how my pregnancy will go. The only certainty we have in pregnancy is that no two are alike. When other women share with me I genuinely like to hear about their experiences – there is nothing more motivational than hearing about other women’s struggles or triumphs during pregnancy…but I don’t take them away with me as certainty that I will endure or succeed in the same way – that’s just bad for the brain.
I’m the good kind of fat. A year ago I started a lifestyle transition and changed the way I looked at food and exercise. The result was 20lbs in weight dropped and a new love for fitness – I teased Travis the entire time that right when I reached my “goal weight” we would discover I was pregnant. And literally, down to the day, that is what happened. Obviously, some of that weight has had to come back and I’ve had to be much more forgiving about what I’m eating and the exercise I’m not able to complete – did I mention the sciatic pain?? 🙂 – now that I am pregnant. When I look in the mirror I have had to remind myself that the extra weight around my hips & waist is there to bring a health baby girl into the world. It doesn’t hurt that my husband tells me daily that I look as beautiful as ever…I can’t stress #3 enough.
My heart stops every time I hear her heart beat. No matter how many times that heartbeat fills the doctor’s office my heart just stutters to a stop and my eyes fill with tears – the most beautiful sound on Earth. <3
I need to write it down. Keeping up with my journal and documenting the bump are so important to me – I want to refer back to this journey often.
Sometimes you have to make yourself get out of the house. My house is my favorite place right now (it always kind of has been but especially right now) but I know that in the future I will often be confined to these walls when I might not want to be so I force myself to get out and about as often as that pesky sciatic nerve (lol!) let’s me.
Some knowledge is power. I like to be informed enough to ask my doctor important questions and to have a relative idea of what the next step is but I’m glad I’m a little bit clueless. It is very hard to worry about what happens next when you don’t know what happens next. 🙂
This is the most important thing I have ever done. I’ve never been one for selfishness, even during a rare selfish moment I end up feeling so guilty about it that I don’t enjoy whatever I chose to be selfish about but this has changed that perspective for me. Carrying this little girl & bringing her to life is the absolute most important thing I have ever done in my life and will be my greatest accomplishment so sometimes that means telling someone I’m not up for something, excusing myself from a stressful situation or allowing myself the grace to call a day in which I just cared for myself a success. I think this will feel more natural when the love of my life is here in the world when her health isn’t so entirely tied to mine.
The bottom line…this has been the most incredible experience. Not all good…actually, a lot of it can’t be classified as good, but so full of meaning and purpose.
I’d love to know what YOU learned while you were pregnant – let me know!
Good Morning & Happy Friday!! We made it. And for those of us in the midwest, we really…really deserve this Friday! Brrr!!
This is going to be super quick – but I think you’re going to like it! Every Friday I will try to pop in here to share with you something (or a few somethings) I really enjoyed that week or something new I came across.
Today’s post is something we can enjoy all February long! A friend emailed this to me and I just love it so much that I needed to share with all of you!
Action for Happiness is celebrating “Friendly February” with a handy calendar filled with ideas to bring happiness to others and really strengthen and improve your relationship with the people you love & care about. I have linked to the calendar and I will embed it below for anyone interested.
Basically, each day you are given a suggestion for how to reach out to someone (friend, partner, colleague, etc.) I promise you’ll be making so many days with these actions and I guarantee your days will be made too!
I’ll be checking in on social to share some of the things I am doing to celebrate my relationships this month and I would love to hear what you are doing as well!
I’ve always been hesitant to call this space a “lifestyle blog”. It seemed a little bit daunting & overwhelming….placing this little outlet of mine in the same category of so many powerhouse blogs & brands. And to be honest, I never really believed that I had a place in the lifestyle realm; a 5′ 5″, size 6 (on a good day) with very little knowledge of fashion & decor is a tough sell against the leggy blondes with waist length hair who look more put together in the school drop-off line than I do on a night out. Plus, I don’t have one of those Gucci belts that seems to be the most recent lifestyle blogger badge of honor. 🙂
I’m really not making fun; I live for following those women and I get so many ideas for my wardrobe, skincare routine and holiday decor from each of them. They are true influencers. But, sometimes, I feel SO disconnected from the lifestyle they sell.
Which got me thinking…wouldn’t it be fun to cultivate a “relatable” lifestyle blog; a space with ideas, tips & tricks but also lots and lots of real life. I want this space to be as simple & fun as my favorite skincare products of the month, yummy recipes and the most recent hobby I have taken up to get myself through this pregnancy but I also want to be vulnerable and transparent and share posts like the Letter to my Daughter I shared last week. And most of all, I just want to create content that makes other women (and eve men, you’re invited!) say “YES. Me too!” and “Glad I’m not the only one!”
So, I promise to be consistent in posting and always try to remain relatable if you promise to check in often and share with your friends?! Yes? Perfect!
Sometimes I write letters to my daughter…one I don’t have yet, but someday expect to bring to life. It feels like a diary, a lesson, a glimpse into the life I lived before & maybe during her existence. I hope one day, when she feels like she’s a million miles away from me, dealing with experiences and heartache that I can’t begin to understand I can hand her this journal…giving her a literal piece of my heart and we’ll find common ground.
This morning, while sitting in my favorite coffee shop, drinking my favorite latte and trying to focus on work I suddenly found myself a witness to a mother calmly trying to soothe her inconsolable daughter. Bits of the conversation provided enough information for me to understand that the daughter’s heart was broken and the mother was trying to pick up the pieces.
I put down my coffee and I wrote this letter.
I imagine you often…as a baby, as a curly haired toddler, as a grade school spelling bee champ but mostly as a young woman. I imagine you’ll have your dad’s eye lashes, long and thick and irresistible. You’ll probably have his dimples too and his charming grin. I sure hope you have his metabolism! But, I imagine you will have my eyes…blue and clear and nothing short of a precious gift that your grandparents contributed to.
When I picture those big blue eyes, framed with your daddy’s lashes…I dread the day I see them filled with tears.
I wish I could tell you that life is going to be nothing but good to you. I wish I could say that your good heart, your sweet smile and your fascination with everything will be enough to spur only goodness from those around you. I wish I could tell you that you’ll have nothing but wonderful friends, attentive and gentle lovers and co-workers and bosses who will be nothing but grateful for you. I wish I could say you won’t have to hurt.
But, you will.
You’ll hurt hard.
I feel like you must be warned…you’re going to love someone that doesn’t deserve you.
It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how independent and strong your dad and I raise you to be or how determined you are to only let “good” people in.
Friends are going to hurt you, co-workers, bosses, peers, family and sometimes even me.
But the biggest hurt of all will be those you love intimately. That person you love with passion, exuberance and endurance.
You’re going to love someone who turns cold and distant and is always pushing you away. You might love someone who’s eyes wander and can never settle on yours exclusively. Sometimes the less they love you…the more awful they treat you….the more you’ll want them.
Sweetheart, sometimes love can feel a lot like a game…like a game that you must win. And with that mindset you’ll do some ridiculous things, tactics you never felt capable of. You’ll want to be ashamed of yourself.
Someday you’re going to come home, to the house in which I raised you and you’re going to throw your arms around me and bury your face in my neck. You’re going to cry, maybe even sob, and you’ll probably leave mascara stains on a new silk blouse, but I won’t care. You’re going to wonder what you’re missing, what you’re doing wrong, why you can’t make this person see how lovely you are, how much you care, how great you could be together if they would only love you like you love them.
I know it sounds awful.
And it is.
I have a good reason for writing this down, for reducing myself to tears at the very thought of your pain.
It will be worth it.
You’re going to find someone who deserves you. It might take years, several relationships, even a marriage and consequential divorce.
But you’ll find them.
They are going to be incredible. Like you.
They’ll love you like sunshine, reaching every bit of you inside and out. They’re going to laugh at your jokes and revel in your stories no matter how small. They won’t mind that you hog the bed and they will sacrifice some of the blankets so they can watch you, lovingly, all wrapped up and cozy. They’re going to memorize your favorite foods and restaurants and drinks and clothing stores and all of the things you “can’t live without”. They’re going to tell you that you’re beautiful when you get dressed up for a night out, or when you’ve just woke up, or when you’re caught right in the middle of a horrible flu bug. They’ll fill up your humidifier when you’re stuffy, they’ll scrape off your car when it snows, they’ll hold your hand (and sometimes your entire body) in their lap while you watch a scary movie. They’ll only raise their voice when it is absolutely necessary and you will never sit staring at the phone wishing they would call. You’ll never feel small in their presence, you’ll never feel like an imposition.
Your love story is going to be epic.
I can’t wait to watch you thrive in it.
And all of those people who didn’t deserve your love…they’re going to make you appreciate the one who does.
I’m super excited this morning because I’m finally getting around to sharing with all of you something I’ve been trying out myself for the last couple of months; I guess you would call it a little bit of a “positivity challenge”.
Each week, for the past several weeks, I come up with just one positive task I can do each day of that week to make my week better, more productive and all around a happier experience.
So far, the weeks in which I have stuck to my pre-determined schedule, I can say for a fact have been better weeks than those in which I have missed days or…ignored it completely! 🙁
I was telling a friend about this little adventure and she insisted that I should be sharing it with others, and just like that a new blog series was born! This is extra exciting because I will have something to bring to the blog at least once a week – and since one of my resolutions for the year was to blog more (which I’ve been failing at miserably)…this is the perfect solution!!
Here’s how it works: every week stop by here and check out the schedule for the following week (Monday-Sunday). Pin the image or save it to your phone and use it as a guide to write down in your planner, journal or add to you calendar digitally. Each day will have a theme and each theme will have a suggested task but feel free to insert a task more applicable for you! Perform the task each day – if you’re a social media addict like me and want to capture it then pretty please tag me @loveblisscoffee or #loveblisspositivity…you can also follow my week of tasks in my Instagram story if you’d like!
A few things I want to point out that I have learned since starting this:
Keep the tasks for each day simple & quick. This is an opportunity to make yourself feel good not to set yourself up for failure. We are all busy and bogged down; adding an extensive task to your day won’t help (i.e. “clean out and organize the entire pantry” instead, try “clean out and organize one shelf of the pantry)
Try to make the tasks as fun as possible. (i.e. Organizing 30 pictures in your digital picture file is a little bit more fun than cleaning out/organizing your email inbox) These are tasks that are supposed to add some fun & accomplishment to your week or tasks you know you won’t get to on your usual “chore days”…hopefully that makes sense.
Get your family involved! Make it a quick bonding activity with your kids or significant other – if you can complete a task outside while the weather is beautiful…even better!
Check out the schedule below! We’ll be starting on Monday October 1st! Can’t wait to share this with all of you! x,Hayley
If you follow me anywhere on Social Media you’ve noticed the past several months I’ve been on a journey to a healthier, fitter version of myself. I joined an amazing support system and, in my opinion, family and I’ve experienced an amazing physical transformation so far.
So, how did I find this new, healthy lifestyle? I was lucky enough to stumble across a couple on Instagram who dedicate their lives to helping people improve their own lives. They truly are an incredible couple and while you should definitelycheck them out that’s not the point of this post.
In addition, to be online fitness coaches they have a daily podcast called, “Myers Mindset” and the focus lately has been all about happiness. They are on a mission to interview 1,000 people in attempt to discover the meaning of happiness. I told you they were incredible!
I promise, I am getting to the point of this post, stick with me!
One day, as I watched their Instagram Story flash by they asked their followers “who is the happiest person you know?” My initial reaction was…ME!
But then…that little voice inside (the metaphorical 2×4 I seem to carry around inside my head) started chiming in. To begin with, it asked, who am I to say I am the happiest person I know? Conceited much?
Then it began to point out all the cracks in my life; past & present.
Someone with a life long history of anxiety & depression cannot be the happiest person you know.
Someone who has insomnia and only gets a full night of sleep 50% of the time cannot be the happiest person you know.
Someone who has already been divorced & remarried by 31 cannot be the happiest person you know.
Someone who needs to see a therapist on a semi-regular basis cannot be the happiest person you know.
Someone who is struggling to have a baby cannot be the happiest person you know.
Someone who can count her friends on one hand cannot be the happiest person you know.
Someone who had to grow up a bit too fast as a child cannot be the happiest person you know.
That stupid little voice has been the background noise for such a large portion of my life. Its talked me out of so many things; not just my happiness but my worth and what I deserve in general. I am SO quick to tell someone else how worthy, beautiful and inspiring I find them to be why do I have such a hard time telling myself that?
This morning, as I was driving to work and listening to the latest installment of the above mentioned podcast something clicked.
I am the happiest person I know and it’s okay to say that. I know myself better than anyone…so, it’s a logical conclusion. On top of that, Travis & I are the happiest couple I know, and again, it’s okay to say that because I know us better than any other couple.
I am a happy. Not just today or right now or because of anything specific. I’m just happy.
Even more, I’m happy in spite of my challenges.
Anxious days, sleepless nights, infertility challenges, spells of loneliness…they all might change my “mood” but my mindset stays with happiness.
I’m the happiest person I know. I hope you are too…and if you’re not, I hope you find the strength today to change that.
I’ve been hesitating to write this post for quite a while. Frankly, I think I am probably the least interesting person on the planet..and yet, almost every day I spend the evening replying to at least 10 messages between Facebook, Instagram & email from people asking me about my life, my travels, my dress, earrings, marriage, job….I could go on and on.
It’s no secret that I am an avid social media user – I truly don’t recall a time in which I didn’t have a status, blog, top 8 (RIP Myspace), profile picture, etc. to update. On top of that, I’m a sharer – I like sharing stories, selfies, photos of my family, vacation memories – I treat my social media like a sort of digital scrapbook that I can look back on one day and smile, laugh or, in some cases, hurt a little bit. Because of my social media behavior I have made lots of “digital friends” – people all over the country (some all over the world) that laugh with me, reply to my stories and just connect with me on some level.
The number one request I have gotten is to PLEASE start updating my blog regularly again. That is an insanely flattering request but also overwhelming…because, again, I find myself wildly uninteresting…so whenever I sit down to post something I find myself forfeiting halfway through..certain that no one is going to want to read it, but maybe I’m wrong?
Considering the fact that I adore writing and that people actually want to read what I write I’ve decided to make a promise to myself to check in on here once a week!
That being said, I decided to answer 5 of the questions I most frequently get asked in response to my little “social media life”. And I am going to be brutally, embarrassingly honest.
1. You’re soooo pretty! What’s your secret to such smooth skin? What products do you use? Filters. Most of the time more than one! With access to such fun, amazing & flattering photo apps its so hard not to take advantage of all of the pretty ways I can improve a photo and my face! As for products – I use Purity cleanser at night, Dove sensitive skin in the shower in the morning followed by IT Cosmetics Confidence in a Cream every morning & each night. I use at least one mask a week – but those are always changing and I don’t have a favorite. As for foundation, I don’t use one – I stick to Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer and if for any reason I need additional coverage I just mix a little liquid concealer in the tinted moisturizer..super simple! Also, there may or may not be a little Botox in my forehead….just saying. Bottom line…thank YOU for all of the compliments but I’m not as pretty in person as I appear to be in carefully doctored photos! Lol!
2. What are your favorite photo editing apps? On that note, what apps do I use to achieve the picture perfect selfies?
These are my top 5:
YouCam Perfect/YouCam Makeup
….Have fun with those!
3. What exactly do you do for a living? Do you work? I can see how it would appear in my social media world that I don’t actually have a “job”. Ha! I actually have several! My parents own a transportation company that spans most of the midwest region – I do the online marketing, social media & SEO for their company. In addition to that I have a small online marketing company called Clever Click Marketing – I do online marketing & social media for a number of small businesses throughout Omaha. Also, my mom & I just opened a small boutique in Elkhorn, NE called Dreamcatcher – I work out of there most of the week helping run the business, buying, IT, marketing side of things while my mom & her sister handle the creative, staging, decorating aspect of the store. AND, I’m a part-time assistant for my husband. So, you could say I stay busy. 😉
4. Do you have kids? Is it hard being a step-mom? Are you trying to have kids? I’m combining these questions all into one to keep it simple. I have a step-son/bonus son – he’s 12-years-old! It’s not hard being a step-mom, there are challenges and days in which I can’t believe how different my life is from the way it was before but its truly amazing and I love the experience. I don’t take how lucky I am for granted, he’s an exceptional kid and treats me like gold and his dad & I have a great relationship with his mom and her husband…I know that not all people have it that easy and some really struggle and while I sympathize for them I just can’t relate! Yes, my husband and I are trying to have a baby…but it’s proving more difficult than anticipated but that’s a story for another time!
5. “Your life looks perfect!” “You get to travel so much!” “You and your husband seem so in love!” “I wish I had your life!” These are just a handful of the statements that get flung at me every day. Yes, my social media life looks pretty perfect and lots of days are perfection but just as many days are mediocre at best and some straight up suck. I do get to travel a lot but my husband & I work hard to do so and we sacrifice & save to make those trips happen. My husband and I are in love – maybe even annoyingly so but we have our issues. To give you some perspective…I was ugly crying in the HyVee parking lot less than 3 hours before this photo was taken.
So…you know…take everything with a grain of salt. 😉
I’ll be around more now, I promise! And keep the questions coming – at least that way I’ll always have something to blog about!
Sometimes…when I’m feeling especially nostalgic (and maybe a tad bit masochistic) I will dive into my book shelf of personal journals, opening & reading the very first one my hands make contact with.
Usually it’s in the middle of the night, when sleep escapes me and I feel an absolute necessity to remember where I’ve been, who I’ve been and who others have been to me. I will sit in too little light, with too little blankets and bury myself in my words. Sometimes it’s wonderful, sometimes it is an emotional beating of the worst kind…most of the time it is both.
Tonight while I was reading a journal from my Freshman year of college…brutally reliving all of my heartbreak and awkwardness….I found myself paused at an almost desperate sentence scrawled at the bottom of an unfinished entry.
“I just want to be in love so I don’t have to hurt anymore.”
I read the sentence twice before the giggles began bubbling up. I laughed and laughed….and laughed. Alone, in an empty living room. I was absolutely certain I had gone crazy, I mean, really there was nothing funny about this desperately sad, younger version of myself.
The naivety behind that 19-year-old’s belief that love solved everything…I found that entertaining and I guess, a little bit endearing. I was stuck between wanting to go back in time and let her know that she was wrong (as she was about MOST things at that age) and at the same time wishing I could soak myself in that same naivety.
Now, of course, I know…love is not the absence of pain. In fact, even at it’s best, it can be one of the most abundant source. It’s important and it’s fragile and it’s so utterly out of our control…
And yet, so many of us expect love to save us and when it doesn’t we think we must try again, with someone else, somewhere else, at some other time.
It won’t save you, not ever.
The truth is, love – the real kind – will break your heart into tiny pieces and then it will put your heart neatly back together just to do it again, it’s devastating and it’s hard and its worst and brilliant, abundant light at its best.
Sorry this is dark & heavy…but love is dark & heavy. It’s also light & courage & passion & comfort & warmth. It’s worth it. And if it sounds like I’m contradicting myself that’s because love is a contradiction, a battle, a storm…that knowledge – that’s what will save you.
Love is absolute certainty that you would want to die if they died…but also the certainty that you would get out of bed every single morning, and brush your hair and make your coffee and smile at least three times for the sake of their spirit watching over you.
I’m having an “off day”. You know the kind of day I’m talking about…nothing is particularly bad but nothing is really getting a smile out of me either. I mean, when Ozzy Man Reviews fails to make me laugh I know that I am definitely “off”, hormonal or just tired and….possibly…..today….carb deprived. 🙂 Regardless, today is “eh”.
The morning was uneventful, the tasks monotonous and ordinary and after only about an hour of work in what I usually find to be my ridiculously happy and inspiring office I decided I needed to get out of the house.
So, now, I’m sitting at Scooters, at an outdoor table…staring at the landscaping that makes up a shopping complex I jokingly refer to as my “second home” – here’s to you Village Pointe! And….I still don’t feel any better. My instinct was to grab my phone, prettily arrange my iced coffee, my cute journal and open laptop to formulate an encouraging and cheerful Instagram post but, I changed my mind and opened this blog.
At this point….most of the people that “tune” into this blog are wondering why they are still reading…..and if you are, I appreciate it – depressssssing! But I do have a point.
I guess it has a lot to do with what I wrote about last week – about the wisdom that has come in my thirtieth year. It’s okay to have an off day. It’s even okay to have a really, really bad one.We are all so consumed (at least I am) with making our weekends and even just our Tuesdays look like a perfect reality. Sometimes they are perfect, I don’t know about you, but I love opening up Facebook to find someone else having an absolutely wonderful day. But, how often do we log in just to say…..”wow, today has kind of sucked”? And those that do are not usually met with the sort of comments and “likes” that accompany a sunny, pretty, perky post.
So, this is me removing the filter, that pretty little filter I seem to add to every post and every picture almost robotically. Today isn’t my favorite….and for no real reason other than that sometimes life (no matter how good or bad) is exhausting. I am absolutely aware how lucky I am to have the life that I do….but, there is not a human being on this Earth that doesn’t sit down sometimes and think, eh….I don’t like this day. And this is me, telling you, for what it’s worth, it’s okay to remove your filter too.
And on that note, I want to say….and this is important so listen closely….it’s okay to know that someone, somewhere (or a lot of people, a lot of places) certainly have it ‘worse’ than you do at this very moment…but that doesn’t take away whatever weight you might be carrying this morning, this week, this month or even this year. Don’t ever let someone brush off your vulnerability as weakness or as unimportant as someone else’s pain, suffering or challenges.
Now, no matter what kind of day you’re having….I’m going to leave you with what one of my favorite people always says to me…